Cincinnati Magazine’s Top 40 Burgers: Part IV: THE TOP 10 BURGERS IN TOWN

#10 Senate

OV ER RAT ED! I really like Senate as a restaurant too. The burger is a paint-by-numbers attempt at a fancy burger, but all the elements are lacking. It should taste awesome, and i know it should taste awesome, but it just doesnt. The total is less than the sum of its parts.

#9 Keystone Bar & Grill

I actually think this is a pretty fair placement on the list. I used to really not like Keystone all that much, but in the last few months, it’s become one of my favorite spots. Oh, and doesn’t that photo below look kinda familiar?

#8 Paula’s Cafe

This is another spot that I think has more hype than it deserves, the burger is pretty good, but I don’t think it belongs in the top 10. Plus the service is terrible, almost always.

#7 Oakley Pub & Grill

Originally part of the 915/skinnylegs/zola group (i think it’s since been sold) they do have the soul burger at those other establishments. I think this proves that all 4 of these places serve up consistently the best burgers in town. this might as well be 915.

#6 Virgil’s Cafe

You may be familiar with this place from a certain chipmunk-lookin’ tv host and their etouffé but apparently they also have a pretty good burger. I’ve eaten here but haven’t gotten around to the burger. For whatever reason I dont dig the vibe of the place even though everyone raves about it. It’s right up the street from me so sometime I’ll make a point to brave all the BMW’s and 50+ year olds and try it.

#5 VanZandt Restaurant & Tavern

Havent been here but by most accounts is pretty solid. I’ll make a trip for it, even if the name does automatically conjure up images of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

#4 Gas Light Cafe

Haven’t even heard of this place, let alone tried it. Sounds like a solid basic diner burger. I’ll give it a go at some point.

#3 Terry’s Turf Club

Once you get into the top 5 of most lists, the listed items become pretty much interchangable and unless you have some sort of bias, most people should feel pretty good about stuff. Terry’s most deservedly belongs in here. I like to keep mine simple rather than get crazy with all the sauces.

#2 City View Tavern

Definitely a solid burger, but #2 in town? no way. this one slides in on charm and location. put this bad boy in the 6-10 range.

#1 The Wildflower Cafe

Kind of a shocker for #1, but i cant judge at this point, as i’ve never been there. a co-worker and fellow burger aficianado has recommended the wildflower, so I do believe i’ll have to make a trip, especially for “the best burger in town”

Paula’s Cafe is pretty alright for a good lunchtime burger.

Paula’s 7 Minute Burger
Paula’s description: some clever saying about the wheat bun, plus lettuce tomato, pickle and onion, gives other topping options for cheese (50¢) to egg and bacon (95¢)
Cooking Temp: 7, 8 or 9 minutes. I got 7 but should’ve asked for 6 or 5, just to see if they’d do it.
Additions/Subtractions: got it as listed on the menu, plus sharp american cheese, no mustard

Burger: 4.75
If they allowed for burgers to be cooked to your choice, this burger would’ve been perfect. The meat tasted fresh, it was perfectly griddled with a nice caramelization and had amazing seasoning, subtle and not overpowering in the least. It was a perfect size and thickness, big, but not so much that i felt gross after eating it. Even though it was cooked medium+ it still was nice and juicy.

Bun: 4
a Shaddeau Wheat Kaiser Roll. I couldn’t tell if it was toasted or not but I think the consensus was “very lightly toasted” It was good, and it didn’t have an overly “wheat bread” taste, which I was worried about going in. It didn’t disintegrate while was eating, which earns big points. It allowed for a good meat-to-bun ratio.

Toppings: 2.75
I like my burger toppings a certain way, and Paula’s does them all pretty much the exact opposite way that I like them, the paper-thin white onions aside. Cheese-not melted, and on the bottom side of the burger, causing all of our burgers to slide and fall apart as soon as you pick them up. Leaf lettuce - another element that allows slippage. Thick tomato - while I appreciate the fresh and delicious tomato, it was about a half inch thick, when combined with the sauces and natural burger juices it makes the whole thing a wet mess. I also appreciated the generous amount of pickles.

Accoutrements: 2.5
Comes with Wavy Husman’s chips, with an option for fries. I saw some fries on other tables and they didnt look like anything special, typical lunch counter fries.

Atmosphere: 2
Paula’s Cafe is a small busy lunch spot downtown, with limited seating and a wait at lunch time. The staff is a bit gruff, and you’re surrounded by businesspeople. It’s more a place that you want to eat and then GTFO. Pepsi products, and a heapin’ helping of hot and cold sandwiches. I hear the Cuban is good.

Overall: 3.2
This burger loses points because of its surroundings and toppings, but it is tops for the actual burger meat and bun. If you’re downtown and want a real burger, hit this place up, because it cant be beat. A good sign of a great burger is if, while you’re eating it, the juices run down your hands and you need to set it down to roll up your sleeves. This one scrapes that realm, though if you set it down, it’s likely to fall apart. Keep reaching for that sun, Icarus! It’s also a bit expensive, my bill was about $10 with just the burger and a soft drink.